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HAPPY NEW YEAR GIRLS! And MERRY CHRISTMAS! JAJAJA! I WISH YOU THE BEST! ENJOY IT THIS YEAR EQUAL TO OR BETTER THAN THE ABOVE! ♥ I LOVE THE



Sitting in the living room, Zac cleaning his gun.
When, that afternoon, the lovely Sharon's ex-boyfriend had taken the knife, Zac had felt for the first time in a long time the lack of a weapon.
course, carry it meant having to hide it. Although he had all necessary licenses to carry it where he pleased, could not be a holster around his waist, like a cop or a gunslinger from the Old West. And a holster would force him to wear his jacket, at least in public. And if wearing a jacket, should also wear long pants. Not even he could wear a jacket with shorts.
could always do what you did Blue McCoy, of course. Blue was an officer of the Brigade Alpha and second in command of the SEAL unit. Rarely put anything but shorts and a shirt worn fatigues old olive green, with the sleeves cut off. And he always carried a gun in a holster under his shirt, with soft leather directly bonded to the skin.
felt a prick on the knee and looked at the clock. It was nearly three. The three in the morning. Steve Horowitz
had given him a few vials filled with a potent local anesthetic similar to Novocaine. It was not yet time to get another injection, but almost. Zac had been one at about nine o'clock, after Nessa will take home from the hospital. Nessa ...
shook his head, decided to think about anything but Nessa, which separated him only a few very thin walls. Nessa, her hair spread on the pillow, dressed only with a provocative white cotton nightgown. Beautiful and soft lips would open slightly to sleep ...
Yes, he was a teacher at the time of torment. I had been there sitting hours sleepless, and had spent most of the time remembering, rather, reviving, the way in which Nessa kissed him on the beach. Good heavens, what a kiss it ...
was unlikely to return to have the opportunity to kiss her like that again. She had made it clear he did not want to repeat. If you knew what suited him, he would try to stay away from Vanessa Hudgens. While, however, would not be difficult. Thereafter, she would try to avoid it.
Suddenly he heard a thud in the bedroom and sat up. What the hell was that?
grabbed his crutches and his gun and moved as fast as he could down the aisle
room to Tash.
had bought a cheap portable TV. It was possibly the night light and sound machine more expensive in the world. Her blue glow illuminated the room trembling. Natasha was sitting on the floor beside the bed and rubbed his sleepy eyes and head. Whimpering, very softly. His voice was barely audible above the soft murmur of the TV. Poor
-Tash, have you fallen off the bed? Zac asked, and walked with difficulty through the narrow door of the room. Put the safety of his gun and put it in your pocket. Come back up. You tuck.
But she stood up, she staggered, almost as if he had drunk too much, and sat down on the floor. While Zac looked at her, he lay down and rested his forehead against the carpet. Zac
crutches leaned against the bed and bent down to take her in his arms.
-Tash, are three in the morning. Do not play dumb.
Holy God, was burning. Zac touched his forehead, cheek, neck. Play it again and prayed for a mistake, that was just sweating because of a nightmare. But every time he touched was more convinced: Natasha had a fever, high fever.
He lifted her up and put in bed.
How could that happen? Everything had gone well the day. He had given his swimming lesson with his usual enthusiasm. He had been in the water again and again, with his usual energy. Yes, I was asleep when they returned from the hospital, but Zac had attributed to fatigue and agitation of the day. Surely, seeing his uncle Zac beaten by Dwayne ogre had left her exhausted.
His eyes narrowed, resting her head against the pillow as if it hurt and kept doing this strange noise and whining. Zac
was terrified. Tried to calculate how much fever was touching, and it seemed that burned dangerously.
-Tasha, Tell me, "he said, sitting beside her on the bed. Dime what's wrong. Tell me what symptoms you have.
God, what they said. "Tell me what symptoms you have." Tasha was five, did not know what the hell was a symptom. And, apparently, did not even know that his uncle was there, I could not hear or see.
He had received medical training, but only knew first aid. Could cope with gunshot wounds, stab, burns and lacerations. But with a sick child with fever in the clouds ...
had to take Natasha to the hospital.
could call a taxi, but the child could fall down stairs. Barely remained standing with crutches. I could not go down with the baby in her arms. It would be too dangerous to try. What if he fell?
-right back, "said Tash and holding crutches, went to the kitchen where she kept the phone.
opened it and looked for the number of local taxi company. He scored quickly. The line rang at least ten times before someone picked up.
-Taxi Amarillo.
"Yes," said Zac, "I need a taxi immediately. Midfield Street, 1210, apartment 2 ° C. Is the complex of apartments on the corner of Midfield and Harris.
- Destination?
-The municipal hospital. Look, the driver need come to the door. I have a little girl with fever and I need it down ...
"Sorry, sir. Our drivers do not leave their vehicles. I wait in the parking lot.
- Can not you hear what I just said? It's an emergency. I have to take the girl to the hospital, Zac ran his hand through his hair while trying to restrain their anger and frustration. I can not bring it down the stairs myself. I am ... "Nearly choked to utter the words" physically disabled.
"Sorry, sir. The rule concerns the safety of our drivers. But the taxi you ordered will arrive within approximately ninety minutes.
- Ninety minutes? I can not wait ninety minutes!
- Cancel your request? Zac
"Yes, he abruptly hung up, cursing loudly. Again quickly lifted and scored 911. It seemed an eternity before someone answered.
- What is it?
"I have a five year old girl with high fever.
- Breathe the child?
"Yes ...
- Do you bleed?
"No, I told you have a fever ...
"Sorry, sir. We have many priority calls and a limited number of ambulances. Come before the hospital if you bring it yourself. Zac
fought to suppress the urge to curse.
"I have no car.
"Well, I can put on the list, but since this is not a life or death situation but, you risk your request is continually relegated as a new call, "said the woman. May be less hassle in the morning.
at dawn.
"Forget it," said Zac, not very politely and hung up.
What now?
Nessa. Would have to ask for help from Nessa.
down the hall as fast as he could until the Tasha room. The girl's eyes were closed, but it moved spasmodically. It was still too hot to touch. Perhaps even more than before.
"Hang, baby," said Zac. Hang on, Princess. Be right back.
beginning to move quite skillfully with crutches. He entered the living room and out into the corridor before they have time to think.
But while he called again and again to ring Nessa, as she opened the screen door and banged the heavy wooden door, waiting to open, could not help wondering what the hell he was doing. Had just spent six hours saying he had to stay away from this woman. Nessa did not want him, he had made more than clear. And there he was, banging on his door at night, ready to humble even asking him to help a little girl down the stairs.
The light went on inside the apartment. She opened the door before the end to get gown.
"Zachary, what happens?
"I need your help," she would never know how much it had cost to pronounce those words. Only Natasha would have asked for help. If it was he who was burning with fever, there would be no use of it. I'd rather have died. Tasha is sick, has a high fever. I take her to hospital.
"Okay," Nessa said without hesitation. Wait, I wear pants and slippers and approached the car to the stairs.
returned to his bedroom to get dressed, but he stopped her.
"Wait. Nessa
returned to the door. Zac was standing on the other side of the mosquito, with crutches under arms. I looked at the carpet, not her. When he looked up, anger used to be crystal clear in his eyes was gone and after she had only been a profound embarrassment. I could hardly hold his gaze. He looked away, but was forced to raise them again, and stared at that time.
"I can not lower it down the stairs. Nessa
heart was in my throat. He knew how much it had cost him say that, and did not want to mess up the answer. I did not want to downplay it, but did not want to embarrass him more by making a big deal.
"Of course not," he said calmly. It would be dangerous to try with crutches. I'm going by car and return to pick up Natasha.
He nodded his head once and disappeared.
She had said the right thing, but there was no time to enjoy the relief. Nessa ran into her bedroom and changed clothes.


- Ear infection? Zac repeated staring at the emergency physician.
The doctor was an intern who was not yet thirty, but had a manner that reminded of an old country doctor, blue eyes shining and a warm smile.
"You have made him an antibiotic and something for the fever he said, looking at Zac and Nessa-as well as a decongestant. That will keep her out of action for a while. Do not be surprised if tomorrow you sleep until later than normal.
- Is that all? Zac asked. Just an ear infection? "He looked at Tasha, who was fast asleep, curled up in bed in the hospital. He looked very small and fragile, with reddish hair on the white sheets.
"Maybe for a day or two to continue experiencing that stun you talked to me," said the doctor. Keep in bed, if possible, and make sure everything is finished the bottle of antibiotics. Oh, and put it earplugs the next time you go swimming, right? Zac nodded
head.
- Are you sure that it is better to leave here a while?
"I think you'll be more comfortable at home," said the young doctor. Furthermore, the fever has gone down. Call me if it continues to improve.
an ear infection. No meningitis. Or appendicitis. Or scarlet fever or pneumonia. Zac was not yet the idea. Tash was going to be OK. An ear infection would not hamper his life. The girl was not going to die. Zac could hardly believe it. I could not shake off the oppression felt in the chest, an incredible fear, a sense of complete powerlessness. Nessa
noticed that touched his arm.
"Let's bring it home," she said calmly.
"Yes Zac, and looked around trying to rally as she wondered when it would sink in and when that relief would remove that strange feeling of tension and fear. I've been here long enough for today.
The journey home was made shorter than I remembered. Nessa saw Tash climb the stairs and put it on your floor. He left the child asleep in bed and covered her with a blanket and a light blanket. Zac watched her trying not to think that Tasha was dealing with because he could not.
"You should also try to sleep a little," said Nessa quietly when they went down the aisle, toward the living room. Almost it's day. Zac
nodded. Nessa
stood in the doorway, his face in the shadows, watching.
- Are you okay?
No, not right. He nodded.
"Yes.
"Then good night, she opened the screen door.
-Vanessa ... Nessa
stopped and looked back at him. He said nothing, just waited for him to speak.
"Thank you" His voice sounded hoarse, to his horror, he suddenly noticed he had tears in his eyes. But it was still dark and she could not tell. "Nothing
Nessa replied softly, and closed the door.
She disappeared, but the tears that filled the eyes of Zac not. He could not help him to leak and fall down his cheeks. Let out a sob, sob shook and that first followed by other, more rapid and intense, until he was crying like a child. Tasha
had thought he would die.
He had felt completely terrified. He, Zac, terrified. Had participated in rescue missions and spying expeditions into enemy territory, in places where they could have killed simply for being American. He was sitting in cafes and eaten around people that would not have hesitated to cut his throat if they knew his true identity. Had infiltrated a terrorist stronghold and had recovered a cache of stolen nuclear weapons. He had looked death in the eye more than once. On each occasion, had been quite afraid, only a fool would not make sense. That fear had a sharp edge that kept him alert and in full command of himself. It was nothing compared to the pure terror, desperate, I had felt that night.
stumbled returned to the sanctuary of her bedroom, unable to hold back the tears. Did not want to mourn, curse. Tasha was safe, was all right. He should have enough control over their emotions to keep the intensity of his relief left him in that state.
gritted his teeth and tried to control himself. But he lost the battle.
Yes, Tasha was safe. Of time. But what if you could not take her to the hospital? The doctor had said it was fortunate that the weather had been. The fever was about to become dangerously high. Nessa What if it had not been home? What if you could not go down the stairs Tasha? What if, during the time he had spent trying to find a way to take her to hospital, the fever had gone up even more? What if his inability to do something so simple a child down a flight of stairs would have endangered the life of your niece? What if Tasha had died because he lived on the second floor? What if there killed because he was too proud to admit the truth: I had a physical disability? Tonight
had uttered these words when talking with the operator of the taxi company. "I am physically disabled." He was not a SEAL. He was a cripple with a cane that could have let a child die for their fucking pride. Zac
sat on the bed and left the tears.


Nessa heard a strange noise as he left his bag on the kitchen table. He lifted it and put it back on the table. He heard the noise again. What did she there?
was agreed even before opening the zipper. Tasha medicine. Zac had bought the antibiotic in the hospital pharmacy, which opened around the clock. Nessa
took her bag and looked at carefully. Tash should not take another dose until shortly before noon, unless you wake up earlier.
would be better if Zac were brought as soon as possible instead of waiting.
left the apartment and walked over to Zac. All windows were dark. Damn. He opened the screen door, wincing at the sound of their chirping, and tried the doorknob.
was open.
came slowly, quietly. He went on tiptoe into the kitchen, ready to put the medicine in the refrigerator y. ..
What was that? Nessa stayed frost.
was a strange sound, a soft sound. Nessa stood very still, quietly, not daring to breathe while just listening. There it was. It was the sound of breathing, of an almost silent cry. Had she awakened Tasha? "Zac was already so deeply asleep that did not hear?
He walked silently down the hall to the bedroom and looked Tasha.
The girl was asleep, breathing slowly and rhythmically. Nessa
he heard the noise and turning, saw Zac in the dim light filtering through the blinds of his room. He sat on the bed, folded in on itself as if it hurt something, elbows on the legs. With one hand covering her face. It was the very picture of despair.
noise she had heard ... Zac came from. Efron Zachary was crying. Nessa
was stunned. Never in a million years would have expected him mourn. I thought unable to release their emotions so visible and expressive. Would have expected that internalize everything, or to deny their feelings.
But I was crying.
She felt her heart was breaking for him and fell silent. I knew instinctively that he would feel embarrassed and humiliated if she learned that she had seen that emotional collapse.
Nessa quietly returned to the living room, left the apartment and closed the door holding her breath.
What now?
could not go home knowing that he was alone with her grief and fears. Moreover, still holding in his hand Tasha medicine.
deep breath, knowing that if Zac opened the door, could well pick up the medicine and let her out. But even then rang the bell.
knew that he had heard, but did not turn on any lights, nothing moved. He opened the screen door and knocked. Then he opened a few inches.
- Zac?
"Yes," his voice hoarse. I'm in the bathroom. Wait, then leave. Nessa
came back and closed the door. She stood there, leaning against the door, wondering whether to turn on the lights. He heard the tap running the bath and Zac imagined washing her face with ice water and praying that she would not notice he had been crying. He left the lights off.
The gesture did not light them when it finally came down the hall in the dark. He said nothing. He stood there.
-Yo ... eh ... Tasha had medicine in my bag, "said Nessa. I thought it was better traértela now instead of waiting for a. .. morning.
- Want a cup of tea?
Your question asked softly, caught her completely by surprise. I had not imagined that among the things he could say, to invite her to stay for a cup of tea.
"Yes," she said, I would. Zac
crutches screamed as he entered the kitchen. Nessa followed, hesitantly.
He lit the lamp from the ceiling. It was not necessary. Parking Light streamed in through the kitchen window. It was a silver light cast shadows on the walls, but it was enough to see.
While he filled the kettle with tap water, Nessa opened the refrigerator door and put the medicine inside. At the close, saw the list that Zac had there, the list of all the things we could do ... the list of things that in his view, prevented him from being a man.
-I know it was hard for you to go to me for help tonight, "he said softly.
He took the kettle to the plate in the kitchen, leaning on his crutch just right and set it on top. No one said a word until he had turned the burner. Then he turned to look.
"Yes," he said, has been hard.
"But I'm glad you did. I'm glad I could help.
"The truth ... "He cleared his throat and began again. The truth is that she felt she would die. I was terrified. His frankness surprised
Nessa. "I was terrified." Another surprise. Zac would never have expected to admit that. Never. Clear that this man had not ceased to surprise since the beginning.
I do not know how parents support it, "he said, and lowered the lid of the teapot, as if they were to hot water before. Because you have a son who want more than your own life, right? And suddenly you are so ill that can not stand upright, clenched his voice. What bothers me is that if it had been the only person left in the world, if it depended only on me, he could not take her to hospital. Continue here, trying to figure out how to lower those stairs, "he turned suddenly and slapped on countertop, full of anger and frustration. I hate feeling so helpless!
His shoulders seemed tense, his face full of bitterness. Nessa no crossed arms to extend to him.
"But you're the only person left in the world. You're not alone.
"But I can not do anything.
"Sure," she said. That was before. You could not do anything if you refuse to help. "He laughed with a snort bitter.
"Yes, I ...
"Yes," she said firmly. Exactly. Think about it, Zachary. There are many things we do ourselves, things that certainly could not do. Look at your shirt, "he commanded as he approached. Extended and touched the soft cotton of his shirt. The rose, he turned and exposed to window light machine-stitched hem. This shirt you have not done it, right? Neither has spun cotton to make fabric. The cotton grown in the fields. You knew, right? A lot of people have done something for that little plant becomes spongy on this shirt. Does that mean they are useless because you have made yourself? Nessa
was very close to him. He felt his masculine and musky smell mixed with a delicious perfume to deodorant and shaving lotion something decadent. He looked at her. The light from the window cast shadows on his face and was more hard and rough her features. His eyes sparkled, and though at that time was unable to specify its color, the heat that was in them did not need any light to be seen.
She dropped the shirt, but did not flinch. Do not want to, even if it meant ignite spontaneously under fire from his eyes.
-So ... What does it matter that you can not make your own clothes? "He continued. The good people at Fruit of the Loom and Levi's makes it for you. Who cares if you can not go down the stairs Tasha? I'll come down for you.
Zac shook his head.
"It's not the same.
"It's the same thing.
- What if you're not home? What then?
-calling to Thomas. Or your friend ... it's called ... Lucky. Instead, said the list on the fridge, you should have a two-page list of friends you can call for help. Because you're only helpless if you have no one to turn to.
- What will be at the beach instead? Zac asked, his voice tense. He approached her, standing dangerously close. His body was a sigh of Nessa, and she felt his breath hot and sweet in her hair. Will they get fit for me? Will they be a SEAL on active duty for me? And then what will accompany me on my assignment and shall when to run and swim against a current of two knots when you have to swim? Did you jump from an airplane at high altitude for me? Will you fight when you have to fight and move quietly when you have to be stealthy? Will they do all the things you should do to stay alive to me and the men in my unit? Nessa
was silent.
"I know you do not understand," he said. The kettle began to hiss and whistle with a shrill sound and sad. He turned away from Nessa and approached the hearth.
had not touched, but its presence and its proximity had been almost palpable. She swayed slightly as if he had been holding, back and sat in a chair in the kitchen. As I watched, Zac pulled the kettle from the fire and pulled out two cups from a cupboard.
wish I could make you understand.
"Try.
He was silent again as she opened the cupboard and took out two bags of tea. Put one in each cup. Then poured the steaming water from the kettle. He left it on the stove and seemed absorbed in soaking tea bags when he began to speak haltingly.
"You know I grew up here in San Felipe," he said. We also said that my childhood was not exactly a bed of roses. But that is an understatement. The truth is that it was frightening. My father worked on a fishing boat ... when was not so drunk he could not get out of bed. It was exactly like living in an episode of The Misadventures of Bea-ver or Father Knows Best "He looked and muscle in his jaw tensed. I'll have to ask you to take the cups into the living room for me. Nessa
"Sure, I looked out the corner of my eye. There has been so difficult, right?
"Yes, it has been, with both crutches under his arms firmly supported, Zac came before it in the living room. Just lit a lamp, left the room wrapped in a soft glow almost golden.
"Forgive me a minute," he said, and disappeared down the hall way to his room. Nessa left
cups on the coffee table that was in front of the sofa and sat boxes.
"I wanted to see how Tash," said Zac was returning to the living room. And I wanted to bring this, holding a paper bag, the bag had given the doctor in the hospital.
He grimaced when sitting across the long couch and lift the injured leg to support it on the table. Nessa While I watched, opened the bag and pulled out a syringe and a vial.
"I have to have the leg up. I hope you do not mind doing that here.
- What are you doing exactly?
"This is a local anesthetic, a kind of Novocain," he explained as he filled the syringe with transparent liquid. I'm going to injecting into the knee.
- Are you going to inyectártelo in ...? "You're kidding.
"When I was a SEAL, I received medical training," he said. Steve gave me a shot of cortisone in the hospital, but it will take some time to act. This has an almost immediate effect. The problem is gone within a few hours and I have to return to prick. Still, dulls the pain without affecting the central nervous system. Nessa
looked away. He was unable to look as he stuck the needle into the leg. Sorry
-Zac muttered. But it was again about to cross the line of the excruciating pain.
"I think that I could not get an injection-recognized Nessa.
He looked with his mouth twisted into a sort of smile.
"Well, it's not that I like to do, but can you imagine what might have happened tonight if I had taken the painkiller that Steve wanted to prescribe? Tasha would not have heard fall out of bed. Still be there on the floor, and I would be drooling, unaware, in my bed. Thus I numbs the knee, but not the brain.
-An interesting philosophy for a man who gets drunk to sleep two nights in a row.
Zac felt his knee began to numb. He turned his head from side to side to relax the shoulders and neck.
"Oh, no I hang out with rodeos, eh?
"Four-thirty in the morning is no time to chat," she said politely. Then he folded his legs on the sofa and sipped her tea. If one can not be honest to the four and a half, when will it be?
Zac rubbed his neck.
"If you want the truth bluntly, there is one that is the same at four and a half at noon, as I said before, and do not drink.
She watched him with her brown eyes, but Zac did not know what I was looking for. He felt the urge to turn around and cover his face, fearing he saw the telltale traces of recent tears. But he forced himself to hold his gaze.
-No I think you're able to quit for good, "she said finally. So, without further. Look. I know you're sober, but ...
"The night we met, it just caught me at my best. I was ... celebrating my leave from the Navy, providing for their lack of faith in me picked up his cup and sipped tea. It was too hot and burned. I told ... I have no habit of drinking so much. I'm not like Sharon. Not like my father. He was a scoundrel. He had two facets: o was drunk and angry, or was hungover and angry. In any case, Sharon, my brothers and I learned to stay away from him. But sometimes one just in the wrong place at the time wrong, and gave us a beating. We used to sit for hours, inventing lies to tell our friends how we had become the bruising and how we finish with black eyes, let out a snort. As if they knew what was happening. Most lived the same hell.
You know, I often pretended that it was not my father actually. I made up a story that I was some kind of sea creature that had been entangled in their nets one day he was out with the fishing.
Nessa smiled.
"As Tasha when pretending to be a Russian princess.
His smile was mesmerizing. Zac could hardly think of anything other than the touch of her lips and how much I wanted to experience again the sweet sensation. Resisted the urge to reach out and touch her beautiful face. She looked away and his smile faded. Suddenly seemed shy, like he knew what he was thinking.
"So there I was," continued Zac-, ten years living a nightmare at home. It was that year, the year I was in fourth grade, when I began to spend hours riding a bike to leave.
She listened intently, staring into his cup as if it contained the answers to all your questions. He had removed his shoes, which were on the floor in front of her. Her slender legs bent over the couch, soft and tanned provocatively. He wore a gray hooded sweatshirt and shorts. In the hospital wearing their seatbelts, but at some point since his return he had lowered his zipper. The shirt he wore underneath was white and loose, with a small wheel on top. Zac
suddenly realized that was the nightgown. He had put the clothes on her nightgown, had tucked it in his pants and he had closed with the sweatshirt. Nessa
looked at him, waiting to continue. Zac
coughed to clear the desire knot suddenly felt in the throat and continued talking.
"One day I made the bike a couple of miles along the coast to one of the beaches where the SEALs tend to do their training exercises. It was amazing to see those guys, "smiled as he remembered that he had thought that the SEALs were crazy the first time I saw them on the beach. They were always wet. Do what they do, and whatever the time, instructors were always the first to hit the water they are soaked. Then crawled upside down along the beach and sand is smeared, to the face and hair, everywhere. And then ran five miles up and down the beach. They were incredible. For a boy of ten years, it was fun. But although I was not just a kid, looked beyond all the antics. I knew that whatever it was what they got with those endless and grueling tests had to be fantastic. Nessa
had turned slightly to face him. Perhaps it was because he knew I was on the nightgown under clothing, or perhaps because it was dark and dangerous hour of the night, but sat there like a dream. Her in his arms and make love would be a delightful break from all your pain and frustration, even if temporary. Zac
knew without a shadow of doubt that a kiss would melt the caution and reserve Nessa. Yes, it was a good girl. Yes, I wanted something more than sex. He wanted love. But even the good girls were able to escape the sweet and burning desire. He could prove, and persuade with a kiss, sometimes sex, practiced for pleasure and passion, was sufficient.
But curiously, the woman wanted over the fiery sexual satisfaction shock. Interestingly, I wanted her to understand how he felt: their frustrations, their anger, their darkest fears.
"Try," she had said. And he was trying.
"I started going every day at the naval base," he continued, forcing herself to concentrate on Vanessa's big brown eyes rather than the softness of her thighs. Always hanging around there. I served in a bar that used to go off-duty sailors to hear their stories. SEALs were not much out there, but when I went, God showed them how much respect ... Both enlisted and officers. They had an aura of greatness and I was convinced, along with the rest of the Navy, that those guys were gods.
watched them whenever I had occasion, and I noticed that, although most did not wear uniforms, all wearing the same pin. They called Budweiser. It was an eagle with a gun in one claw and a trident in the other. I found that getting the pin after passing a course of intensive training very hard. Most of them are not exceeded, and some class left up to ninety percent of the students. It was a program of weeks and weeks of organized torture, and only men who came to the end getting the pin and became SEAL. Nessa
was looking at him as if he were telling the fascinating story of the world, so Zac continued.
"Then one day," he continued, "shortly before his twelfth birthday, I saw that the SEALs who were training their way with their inflatable boat toward the rocks near the hotel Coronado. It was the end of the first phase of the training course. In this week is called "hell week" because it is really hell. They were exhausted, you could see in his face and how they were sitting in the boats. I was sure they would all die. Did you see the rocks that are out there? "She shook her head. They are very dangerous. Lumber. And there the waves are always very strong, which is not good combination. But I saw that these guys dropped their heads and they did. May have died. Some have died doing this exercise.
around me could hear tourists and onlookers who were out there making noise, wondering aloud why the men risked their lives when they could be marine privates in the regular Navy and not have to be compromised in this way - Zac Nessa leaned forward, eager understood it. And I stood there. It was just a child, but she understood. I understood why. If those guys getting it would be SEAL. Would that pin and may enter any military base in the world and be automatically respected. And what was even better, be respected themselves. You know that old saying, "Wherever you go, there you are"? But I knew that they were where they were, at least one man they respected, and respect for this man was the most important thing. Unable to follow
eyes averted, Nessa again set eyes on him. He imagined a child, with smooth cheeks, the small body and thin and those huge blue eyes full of wisdom impossible, despite his tender age. Imagined him to escape that awful childhood and a father who abused him, seeking a place you could feel a part, a place to be safe, a place to learn to love, a place would be respected ... for others and himself.
and had found that place among the SEAL.
"It was then I knew it was going to be a SEAL," he said softly, but intense. And since that day I respected but no one else did. I lasted another six years at home. I finished high school because I knew I needed the title. But the day I graduated, I joined Navy. And I got it. I got it. I passed the training course and managed to land with my inflatable boat on the rocks of Coronado. And they gave me this pin.
He looked away from her and stared without seeing, his knee injury, bruises, swelling and scarring endless intertwined. Nessa had his heart in his throat as he watched. Zac had told everything to make him understand, and she understood. He knew what he was going to say next, and although he had not yet ruled, his words stung.
"I always thought that, by becoming a SEAL, had escaped from my life. You know, how would that have been my life. I should have been killed in a traffic accident, as my brother Rob. He was drunk and crashed into a pole. Or perhaps I should have gotten pregnant at my high school sweetheart, as did Danny. I should have married and have a wife and a son to feed at seventeen, and worked for the same fleet that my father, and have followed the steps of that old bastard. I always thought that when I joined the Navy and become a SEAL, had cheated fate. And now look at me. I'm back in San Felipe. And I spent a couple of nights in imitation of my father. Drink until you fall. Until you feel pain. Nessa
had tears in his eyes, and when Zac looked at her, saw that his jaw was tense and that he also had wet eyes. He turned his head. It took a moment to speak again, and when he finally did, his voice was firm, but terribly sad.
"Since I was hurt," he said softly, "I feel like I've gone back to the nightmare that was my life. I am not a SEAL. I lost it. Has disappeared. I do not know who I am, Nessa. I'm an incomplete type, someone who floats around, shook his head. The only thing I know for sure is that I also no longer respect myself "She turned to her. Did not care who saw that his eyes filled with tears. So I have to recover everything. So I have to be able to run, jump, dive into the water and do all the things on that list, suddenly wiped her eyes with the back of the hand. Refused to surrender to the emotion that threatened to overtake him. I want it back. Want to feel full.